Jokes

Laugh and the class laughs with you. But you get detention alone !!                              Mother: What did you learn in school today Son: How to write Mother: What did you write? Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!   Teacher: Class, we will have only half days school this morning.Class: HoorayTeacher: We will have the other half this afternoonStudent: The brain is a wonder full thingTeacher: Why do you say that?Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class! Teacher: Be sure that you go straight homeStudent: I can't, I live just round the corner!    TEACHER : What is an island ? Pupil   : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side. TEACHER :On one side ? Pupil   : Yes, on top !         TEACHER :Give me three reasons why the world is round Pupil   : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !        TEACHER : What shape is the world in? Pupil   : Rotten !        TEACHER : Why does you geography exam have a big zero over it.Pupil   : It's not a zero, the teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead !        TEACHER :What's you name ? Class   : Ravi TEACHER  : You should say "Sir" Pupil   : OK, Sir Ravi !        TEACHER  : I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of Pupil   : Life imprisonment !        TEACHER : Name four members of the cat family Pupil   : Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens !        TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon ? Pupil   : Australia, you can see the Moon at night !        TEACHER : Ravi, can you find me Australia on the map please ? Pupil   :There it isTEACHER : Now, Ravi, who discovered Australia ? Pupil   : I did !        Pupil   : I wished we lived in the olden days TEACHER : Why is that ?        TEACHER :What kind of birds do you find in captivity? Pupil   : Jailbirds !        TEACHER : What is the plural of mouse ? Pupil   :MiceTEACHER : Good, now what's the plural of baby ? Pupil   : Twins !        TEACHER : What's the longest word in the English language ? Pupil   : Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters !         TEACHER :: I despair, Ravi, how do you manage to get so many things wrong in a day ? Pupil   : Because I always get here early sir !    TEACHER : What do we do with crude oil ?    Pupil   : Teach it some manners ! Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener? He had a bee in his suit of armour ! Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights! When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom? Because there are no pupils to see! If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left? None, they were all copycats! Why does history keep repeating itself? Because we weren't listening the first time! Teacher: Are you good at math? Pupil: Yes and no Teacher: What do you mean? Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!                              Why did the teacher marry the janitor?  Because he swept her off her feet! Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?  She couldn't control her pupils!  Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?  He wanted the lesson to be very clear! What is the center of gravity?  The alphabet V ! What is the Great Depression?  when you get a bad report card. Why did the class clown give a dog biscuit to Reeta?  Because he heard she was the teacher's pet! Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?  Because they're all in HIGH School! Who should be your best friend at school?  Your princi-pal! How do you spell Hard Water with 3 letters?  ICE! What school do you greet people in?  Hi School ! Why was the students report card all wet?  Because it was below C ( sea ) level. What is 5Q + 5Q?  10Q........You're Welcome! Why did Ravi take a ruler to bed?  Because he wanted to see how long he slept!